and we decided that the next time everyone is in the same room, we would do a retake of this pic. here’s the result:

some came out better than others. here are the rest:

perks for helping herman with doobybrain from time to time.

he first posted about it earlier this month. and received and reviewed yesterday.

if you want one too they’re $25 but for being a friend of doobybrain you get a coupon–just enter “DOOBY_109” at checkout for 20% off!

this past christmas was a blur. my parents were away on christmas day so we celebrated christmas early. soon after i went to serve at a youth retreat that a bunch of CMA (christian missionary alliance) churches put together and got back just in time to ring in the new year. in between there was a major church leadership disagreement (well i think it was a minor issue but it caused me to think about major things). my grandmother was admitted to the hospital and is currently just “alive” due to a life-support machine. a bunch of computer fixing for people and probably a handful of things i just can’t call to mind as i’m writing this now.

i often say to myself  “i want to make a post about ______________” but i rarely get to it because i wanna get all my thoughts together and put together a good solid post. thus i go talking to certain people about it hoping i’d get some input to make a very thorough and thought-out post. in the end i convince myself against writing the post or it’s been so long since i had the initial idea that i lose the drive to go write it. i think the latter is often the case. i think i might just start writing less completely thought out things hoping to explore ideas with the handful you that read this blog.

i think my delay in writing and “need” to get everything perfect is closely related to my issue w/ always wanting to be right or to have everything thoroughly thought out before i step into the spotlight and let people critique me and my thoughts. i know being “wrong” sucks to everyone but i think i take a bigger issue with it than most (i think)–it hits my core.

another instance today that made me think about this happened this morning when i was asked by a friend to possibly speak at her church’s college and career group. the last time some one asked me to speak i immediately turned them down because i was thinking “you don’t want me to speak. you don’t know what you’re asking. i won’t be a blessing. i will bring confusion and madness.” but when my friend asked me this morning i gave it more thought because my future ministry has been on my mind and i thought “maybe this will be a good experience. good practice! haha! they shall be guinea pigs!” and then my thoughts led me to think about how unprepared i was. how many mistakes i might make. and i got a bit anxious about it all.

how do i give that up? i don’t know. concerning speaking in front of people, a friend said that when he gets nervous he focuses on ministering–delivering the message of what people need to hear or else they miss out on life. then eyes are off the self and and off performance. i think that kinda applies to post writing too.

there’s a lot of unfinished-and-not-completely-thought-out posts in the queue in my head right now. maybe i’ll let them out soon.

this is my mom and her sisters that were there last night

the cousins

my parents

my happy aunt and her grandson (my nephew) who was fun and happy too

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this is one of the happiest pictures ive seen of my sister tiffany. haha! it makes me laugh. i bought her a case of quaker oh’s cereal for her birthday.

more of what she got in the mail here.

this past weekend i went up to boston/cambridge for a veritas forum staff meeting. it was pretty good to meet the rest of the staff and hear their stories. i think i was probably the most awkward one there, but that’s nothing new. i felt like i was treated as a king tho. look below at some pictures from my room. i stayed at the harvard faculty club. i felt so underdressed living there.

pretty nice yeah? free food and computer and printer and whatevers i needed/wanted. some people thought it looked like a room from a horror movie…. maybe. oh well. i liked it.

hearing the stories of the other staff and the veritas board was pretty inspiring. i’ve always felt a bit under qualified to be w/ this team bc they were all so “scholarly” and “accomplished”. the conversations they have with each other make me feel like i’m like the dumbest person on the planet. but hearing them talk about their journey and how they got involved and how they continue to support the veritas movement helped me to rethink why i work for them.

family

i also got a chance to meet up with family. don’t wanna write so much so ill just post a lot of pictures.

tiffany is happy drinking sierra mist after her buffalo chicken pizza.

this is my niece mackenzie (im actually not sure if im spelling that right). she’s very cute and a very messy icecream eater.

she probably learns from her brother aiden who’s also a very messy icecream eater and has a hard time sitting still and pronouncing things correctly. in the picture w/ aiden is doug. he’s my cousin betty’s boyfriend. i met him over the weekend. before i met him i just thought “carrot top” all the time.

this is craig and betty.

my sister emily. i met her after her IV meeting. she also wanted to order something w/ buffalo chicken too, but ended up getting a quesedilla.

this is my cousin megan. she’s a princess. and acts like she’s never been outside before. on right is my cousin lily. she’s the mom of aiden and mac.

this is my cousin linda. she’s crazy and busy. i didn’t think i would get to see her but she joined in for breakfast on sunday morning.

this brenda and her son conner. conner is my nephew and he has big cheeks. he also cries a lot, but he has big cheeks.

this is tony my cousin. conner’s dad. he was there on a business trip to assure people that they will somehow find a job in our wonderful economy.

was she looking at her grandchildren and reflecting on her life. moving from a small village in china to new york city? she looked tired but she seemed happy. when i’m getting old and near the end of my days on earth what will i be thinking about?