being in ministry, being a student

i never thought that ministry would take so much time. back in august before the semester started, i thought that i would be able to fit bible study teaching/preparation (i was given the opportunity this year to teach bible study material to college small group leaders) into a neat chunk of time… i estimated maybe 3-5 hours a week… tops. but as the my church’s leaders meetings started i found myself easily spending well over 5 hours a week—maybe closer to 10—prepping and writing material. honestly, i love the material; i love being put in a situation where i’m pushing myself to write and craft bible studies so that the bible study leaders would have the resources to lead their respective small groups. i think it really stretches me to think differently, but at the same time i’m striving to find the balance of time where i spend just the right amount prepping.

i’m learning to deal with the fact that i write slow… that sometimes it takes me 30 minutes to write two sentences because i want to get it just right. i’m trying to figure out ways to articulate truth in ways that people understand. This is especially difficult with concepts that have many angles or layers of understanding. i always compare this problem with teaching about matter and motion in physics. for most people they just need an understanding of newton’s laws of motion…. but if you really wanna get into it you need to start bringing in einstein’s relativity. many times i try to explain relativity to people who haven’t grasped newton’s laws yet… but in my head i’m thinking “oh if you can only see a bit more of this picture!”

last week was also the first time i delivered a sermon… i’ve done workshops before and i’m comfortable leading discussions but rhetoric seems a bit different. maybe it’s something i just need to get used to… and learn what responses/reactions during its delivery i can filter out and what i should note. i recorded it so that i could listen to it but i couldn’t get through more than 2 minutes of myself talking. i dunno how NYU RCF got through 27 minutes of it. haha! until next time!

i think in doing ministry i become a student of myself. being put in different situations and exposed to different responsibilities brings out parts of me that i never knew before… or it’s bringing those parts out that don’t get enough practice to develop.

a short note on my actual student studies… it’s interesting. i think i was worried that i would be bored to death and i would continue my awesome ugrad/hs student habits. but if the material continues to be the way it is, maybe i’ll be a good student! it’s also pretty fun being in a class w/ kevin, steve, and mark… actually the more i think about it, it’s not just fun, it’s kinda funny! but in brief, class isn’t too bad! i could like this. maybe i’ll aim for more than just getting the piece of paper at the end.