i met with gonzo for a good while yesterday chatting about some self-confidence in/adequacy concerns for some work he is engaged in. i had a lot of concerns and its difficult to figure out which is most important to talk about… or maybe not most important… but most timely to discuss. much of what i shared was part-theory and part-experience and i worry about both because part-theory is how my mental model of the world works which may not always match reality and part-experience is just my experience and that doesn’t always transfer to others. i had to constantly temper my “fix-it” and “solve-it” self and raise the “i want to help him grow” self a bit. i didn’t want gonzo to take a quick and easy way out. that often seems to be an easy exit to grab onto but the challenge of growth is to stick with something no matter what — even if it doesn’t seem to be going your way; there’s much to learn still.
today i sent several emails to different people i want to get to know and walk with in life to arrange meets… to experience with them their struggles and joys, to listen and speak into their life with the spirit. some responses already allude to hopes that these meet ups with be “productive”. i’m trying to steer away from that… not that these meet ups should be a waste of time, but to get away from the temptation of accomplishment through calculated means and methods. how can i learn to be an unhurried pastor? holy spirit, teach me and lead me.