Lead with love

We recently finished up a sermon series for church on the book of Titus. It wasn’t the easiest book to preach on, but I am pleased with how it turned out. As I was finishing the last sermon, one refrain that I kept going back to “lead with love” as a way to live out the faith as a testimony/witness to the world. In a way, it was a response to the concern that both Joshua and I have been prompting the congregation: What kind of church do we want to be?

Not too long ago, there was a series of articles published by a fairly well-established faith organization that questioned the value of compassion and empathy for the shaping of morals. The articles warned that compassion and empathy are slippery slopes to the acceptance and endorsement of sin, and they instilled a kind of faith grounded on fear — that if we start to feel with those who we consider “in sin,” we may eventually come to agree with them. Beware! We should be weary of coming alongside them, seemed to be the message.

At one level this sounds “spiritual”; we are to be separate from anything that would stain our consciences. I can even imagine a “biblical” defense being given: flee from immorality, don’t yoke yourself with foreigners (think the ethnic/religious marriage restriction laws), have nothing to do with unrepentant sinners, etc. Yes, we are called to purity and moral uprightness, but this call is shaped by love. We but are called to live out our faith from a foundation of fear but one founded on grace.

In the church circles I’m in, we are often concerned about making sure we have all our theological ducks in a row. It is good that we have a concern for theological truth; Paul always urged the church to guard the gospel message — the good news that Jesus had come to save and restore all of creation to goodness and that he accomplished this in the resurrection (1 Cor 15). In the church there are teachings that are intrinsic to this message, but there are also teachings that we need to handle with wisdom and care. Engaging in these latter subjects ought to humble us before the word and before one another. The church has always had differences of interpretation on these peripheral doctrines since the beginning, but disagreement does not mean abandonment. We are surely called to engage and explore these teachings, but not to the point that makes our faith dead (James 2) — useless to the world and separated from one another. So what do we do when we don’t know everything (or even if we think we do know everything) about a periphery doctrine? We lead with love. We cannot put having all of our theology “figured out” before we think we can engage.

In Titus 3, Paul tells Titus, “avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless” (emphasis mine). Surely an obsession over theological minutiae can paralyze us from doing the good works that Paul calls the church to do, but it can also lead us to become self-righteous and domineering (I don’t think I leaned into this in the sermon), and I think that is what he points to in the next verse when he speaks about divisive people (which I take to mean people who are so adamant about their particular take on a controversy that they would divide the church). I find it sad that sometimes we celebrate these church “heroes” who can champion one particular view of a doctrine at the expense of church unity. Why do we do that?

Instead of focusing on controversies, Paul calls Titus and the church to do good works for all people, regardless of whether they subscribe to our views or even subscribe to God at all! We are to live in such a way that people would know the gospel through our actions — to convey to the world the heart of God through our love. Lead with love.

Leading with love gives us the opportunity to see the image of God in everyone. It helps us recognize the dignity in each person regardless of their political, ethical, or religious beliefs. Even when there are open disagreements in the church, there should be no debate on whether we are to love those around us. Lead with love.

When I reflect on my own life and why I needed to have all my theology worked out before I engaged with “others,” I realize that it was because I was concerned about being wrong or doing the wrong thing. What I feared most was the possibility that I would have to tell everyone I was mistaken in my understanding. I thought I had to have it together; I thought that my ability to do the right thing rested in my understanding of the issues rather than the guiding and sanctifying presence of the Holy Spirit. Jesus promised that the Spirit would lead us as we live out the gospel. Could I trust that he would sanctify the love that I showed to those on the margins?

I had been conditioned for so long to “fear the other” that I was weary of leading with love — it seemed so unsafe. But in going against my inhibitions, I have found that all the fears that I was warned about did not materialize in my interaction with those that the church has often neglected. Leading with love certainly did not answer all my theological questions, but it opened my eyes to see God at work in places that the church has often neglected. Leading with love has brought me to places where compassion and empathy were not slippery slopes to sin, but beautiful entryways to experience new manifestations of grace. While I still resist this call at times out of comfort or fear, I pray that over time, the work of the Spirit will chip away at these parts of me that hold me back from experiencing his grace. And I trust he will continue his work in me, as he continues his work in the church, that we may be a witness to others that Jesus does indeed love the world.