(writing another version of the story from sarcastic jesus perspective)
He will be okay. He didn’t know what he was doing after all, but that boy has a life ahead of him that he would have never imagined.
I was just coming back down from the mountain from praying. Sweating. Tired like I’ve never been before. This is gonna be it. I remember thinking, “These guys will be okay without me. These guys will be okay without me. These guys will be okay without me.”
When I got down I let out a deep sigh, for Reckless, Goody-Two-Shoes, and Lubby-Dubby were all sleeping! “Will they? Will they really be okay?”
These sleepy heads didn’t know they would meet their future brother who was marching over while they struggled against their eyelids. As soon as I woke the sleeping children, I saw them.
MoneyBags came over and kissed me, and before they finished rubbing the sleep out of their eyes, the soldiers were on me. They thought I was going to run, and maybe a part of me wanted to. But all my hours of prayer had prepared me for this; I knew what I came to do.
Then all of a sudden Reckless pulled out… a SWORD!
There he goes again…
Really?
Where did he even get that from?
Have I not taught him anything?
But how that man thinks with his heart. He acts before he thinks. He feels so deeply. He’ll do good work still. He just needs some more time… and testing — and that will come soon enough.
And of course he doesn’t go against the soldiers; that path would’ve ended too quickly. Reckless goes against the runt of the group; poor Malchus didn’t know what was coming. He just came because his master had to be there and if he was anything, he was faithful.
He swung that sword like a wild animal. Malchus staggered backwards and fell to the ground. Perhaps at the last moment before his last swing, an iota of my teaching finally caught up to him, for that last swing would have taken his head; instead he got his ear.
I rushed over like everyone else after his sword arm went limp and he fell to his knees.
When I got to Malchus, he was curled in a ball like a child, his right hand cupping the wound on his head. I knelt beside him and gently picked up his bloody ear from the ground. I think he thought I came to do more harm, but then I stared into his eyes, and his lips stopped quivering and his hand came down to reveal his wound. There I touched him and he was again whole — perhaps more whole than he realized. Then I turned to Reckless.
“Put that away! Did you really think I was helpless here? I am not here to lead an army! I’ve been trying to tell you this from the beginning! I am going with them willingly. ”
As we walked through the garden and into the valley I prayed for young Malchus. We walked together but his gaze was distant. Little did he know that one day his name would be known through all the world. Perhaps after three days he’ll have a new master who he will faithfully follow around with joy.
I can’t wait to see him again.