i graduated this past may — a long journey i was in no rush to finish, content to do ministry part time, student-ing full time while being daddy daycare full time. but since graduation i’ve been thinking a lot about what life will be like when i finally enter full time ministry. i’ve heard the stories of PKs and know several personally — each has their own story with their identity in and outside of the church. even this summer which seems like an preface to the story of my adult work, i’ve felt that tug. all of them know that monday is a meetings day which means daddy can’t be home to tell stories. they know that sometimes i go to church to teach which means i can’t go to the beach or go with them to the museum. what would life have been like if i stayed with my career as a web developer? undivided without the church as a mistress on the side?

i decided to read eugene peterson’s memoir the pastor after graduation in hopes to get some insight into the pastoral life. there’s just so much for me to learn; so much to work on in my own wants for myself. i need to be an unhurried pastor. there’s a patience that is spirit filled… that waits like a farmer waiting for his seeds to sprout. in this first chapter of ministry life, i hope i can learn to cultivate that heart. peterson also directed me to a few good works like heschel’s the sabbath. rest/wholeness/life needs to be present in my future work as a minister. i can already how that will fit with loving and caring for my family well.

i start for reals in a few weeks, dealing with real people and real life… not college and youth “real life”… and it’s nerve wrecking. the weight of words and “advice” as if i have a better compass than others. tether me, o lord, to you for this journey ahead.